Tuesday, 2 January 2007

Life is a Box of Chocolates

Luxe and Double Luxe are wearing camo bikinis by Kru

It's no secret that the Alabasters are notorious for a) being gluttons and b) having a snail-paced metabolism. The Christmas season is fraught with peril. Mince pies and log cakes. Roast turkey and bacon drippings. Cream. Custard. Crackling. Oh, crackling....surely the most wonderous of all food groups?

*Slaps herself out of food trance*

That damned Newton had to ruin it with his bloody Third Law. It never works the way you want it to - why can't the act of lifting a tasty morsel to your mouth produce an equal and opposite reaction in your metabolic rate, resulting in dramatic weight loss?

I am considering pursuing a new career in reverse Before/After modelling. Nevermind the modelling diss in my earlier post, these are desperate times.

It's either that or become a poster girl for Feeders'R'Us. Not a bad idea, except for the guys I'd end up meeting. Talk about a co-dependant relationship. Years in therapy....no fanks, guv - I'd much rather use the money to upgrade from Maldon to fleur de sel. And maybe invest in a colonic or ten....

2 comments:

kugar88821 said...
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Anonymous said...

The one on the left would be now banned from the modeling runways in Europe. Nothing wrong with curves. The obsession with being thin and having big boobs has always made me wonder if women really want to be anything but a sex object.